The Vohufihopvu is the holy book of Darla.
1Before everything, all of existence was occupied by Darlakan and the formless Earth. 2Darlakan rounded the Earth into a ball, and hardened it into rock. From that rock sprung water and air, and on top of the land Darlakan created plants. 3He commanded half the plants to pull themselves out of the ground and become animals. 4His last creation was a naked man named Akhet. 5Akhet mated with a monkey and produced a woman. 6With that woman he had one hundred children who had deformed children with each other. 7Darlakan spoke angrily to them, "What have done? Your children have had children with each other, disfiguring my beautiful creation!" 8Darlakan created 500 new humans. “I must create laws to preserve the beauty of mankind.” He said.
9“Do not have sexual intercourse with a relative.”
10“Do not have sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex.”
11“If a man has sex with an unmarried woman, they must marry. Otherwise, both of them shall be put to death.”
12“Wear clothing when among others, as it will repress your beastly desires.”
13“Do not take intoxicating substances.”
14“Pray to me every day before sunrise and after sunset, to remind you that I am the beginning and the end.”
15“Women are born from animals, and therefore are animals.”
16“Avoid those with different skin color. They will try to dissuade you from me.”
17“Kill your enemies mercilessly, but do not kill otherwise.”
18“Come to this spot and worship me once every 15 months.”
19“Donate 25% of your wage to the poor.”
20“If you wrong me in Heaven and your body is gone, you will return to Earth as a spirit, unable to interact with humans.”
21“Every year, you are to go without food for one week to show your devotion to me.”
22“Fight for me.”
23Upon the last law, Darlakan left the Earth, never to return.
Vohufihopvu is a portmanteau of the Kissi words vohu, meaning holy, and fihop, meaning account or story, with the emphasis ending vu.